-About me-

A little bit about me. I struggle with anxiety, depression, OCD, and I am battling a eating disorder. Notice how I didn't say "used to" well it's because this is a current ongoing situation for me. Every day is a battle, I face many struggles, challenges and obstacles in my life fighting to stay sane. What I'm here to do is help you, help give advice, hold myself accountable and let you know that you are not going through this thing alone. A fear of mine (and maybe yours) is that you will be stuck with this forever, that you will never get to live a normal life like you see your friends doing. "Why do they get to do these things and I can't?" I'm here to tell you that this thing does not control your life and you will make it out of it. You are just at a point in your life where things seem extra hard, but you know what you are strong enough to get past them and defeat what is ever holding you back from being the best version of yourself. We are going to help each other get out of this slump in our roads and get on a path to freedom and happiness. The only thing I ask of you is to be open to accepting things that make you uncomfortable because only you have the ability to change, if you aren't ready, you aren't ready and there will be a day! don't beat yourself up, if you are willing to take a risk stick around and let me help you, and you help me:)

“Sometimes you need to drop your guard so your heart can breathe"

-EM.X

I love this ^ quote, it is something so simple yet one of the toughest things we as humans can do. We want to give-up so many things, we want to start so many things (things our hearts want us to do) but we have a shield of fear that is lying in-between it. Happiness starts when you want and believe it does. So, drop your guard and let out the breath so you can be free.

Background (see other posts specifically for ED/Anxiety)

If I knew that losing weight would go on to give me the most anxiety I have ever delt with in my life, make me so isolated that I lost all my friends and lost myself to the evil that was in my head. If I knew it would give me depression and fear every decision I was going to make, I would've never even thought about it, but that's not how life works. You will go on to read in my next posts that I am a strong believer in making mistakes and failing. As someone who puts so much pressure on herself to do everything perfect and when she used to fail would think it was the end of the world. I know now that these mistakes have taught me the biggest lessons. People may think that I regret all the time I have lost, all the memories I could have made, all the delicious food I missed out on, well of course I can sit around mopping and regretting all of these things but what would that make me? where would that take me? it's just me losing more time over something that has already happened. I would be absolutely miserable if I felt bad for everything I missed out on. The truth is I don't regret my eating disorder because it has taught me more about myself then I have ever known. I learned how to finally make decisions by myself without relying on someone to do it for me, I learned that my life is my story, I am the author I get to decide what each pages says. I learned what true friends are and what it means to have a support group who loves you and cares for you. So many things I have learned from this experience that will follow me forever. Without this experience I would not be going to the University of Minnesota where I am going to study Nutrition, eventually I will be doing my own research help educating people on how the mind/body/spirit work together as well as diving into eating disorders. It is my passion talking about nutrition, talking about eating disorders and educating people around the country that food is never the enemy. Diet culture and social media are all bullshit. You are worthy in any shape or size, and especially that you are not alone. I know that eating disorders thrive off of isolation so I want to be there for you in a time of need if no one else can. I encourage you to speak up and tell a loved one what you are going though it was the best decision of my life! Know you are not defined by your eating disorder it is just a part of your journey!